Just breathe

Rambling: Im still waiting for his first letter. Everything that has to do with him leaving is literally a waiting game.

 He left March 12th and so it's ONLY been 9 days (feels like forever). I know the letters come anywhere within 10-14 days, I wish I was one of those lucky ones that received it immediately, but I'm not the lucky type anyway. I'm really into "keeping busy" lately, I have to be or I'll start going mildly insane. So I've been literally knee deep in school work. I'm also kind of taking these three months of being alone and using it to better myself. I joined the gym and found a new love of excersising. He comes back June 8th and my birthday is on June 11th so I want to look pretty damn good for my 19th birthday.

 Plus all of this new healthy way of life makes me feel good. I encourage EVERYONE to start taking care of themselves too, ladies it feels awesome. Now if only I could sleep. I wonder what other marine supporters (lovely ladies commited to a marine) do to get some sleep. I write a lot to him but until I have an address I'll continue to feel like I'm writing him letters that he'll never see. 

 Dear address, please come. 

  Be lovely ,

 Stephanie

He Called!

Last night was so hard for me. It was my first night without him, without any contact, nothing. This is a huge change for me because we literally spoke all day, every day. So last night was shockingly dreadful. But, I got through it. I posted some stuff, wrote a three page (front and back) letter to him, and finally knocked out at about 3:35 am. I was exhausted and emotionally drained. The next thing I knew, I was being woken up by my phone ringing as loud as God knows what and my heart dropped. It was the weirdest number and I knew it was him. He had a calling card and called me from the airport we had a little less than 9 minutes. I'm so happy that he called me, but still its hard to just hear his voice for 9 minutes and then he goes away again and I have to prep and deal with being ale to deal with what I believe to be the permanent separate between us. YIkes. Then about 15 mutes later I get an email from him and my heart dropped yet again.

"hey my love i'm at the airport but i cant really talk so dont right back. um i miss you so much already and i want you to know that i'm never going to stop loving you. and i'll always be thinking of you, stay strong baby. for me, for us. i want an us more than anything. i dont have much time to type. i love you. our life together is so crazy, and i wouldnt change it for the world, i promise and swear i will be good to you. i love you and neeed you and im never going to mess up. thank you baby for loving me.. for waiting. for supporting me. bye baby. i'll hear from you soon. i love you   Remember stay motivated ! and please baby i need your support more than anyones, so dont forget motivate me! lol bye baby"

Things to get me by... hopefully

1. Crazy amounts of oovoo pics to look back on 

2.  Reese's and a pretty journal 

3. My silly bald headed bird 

(shes very anti-social)

4. His boot camp calendar (makes me feel like i can somewhat know what hes doing and what he's going through)

5. Letters pre- written to me by him, one for every every two days that he's gone. Plus a book he wrote on our story, from our young middle school days to now  (about 6 years). Oh and Video diaries! But, i cant read every letter at once nor see all the videos at once, its assigned day by day and i promised not to peek. Torture. 

Last note:

It's hard, doing all of this, being a part of this, and dealing with this. It's so hard. But i love him. He's my best friend, and It's hard. This is my first night without talking to him. Day one and I'm already feeling the void. Imagine the rest of the days to come... I hope i have the strength to keep on going with this. It honestly is the most extreme version of the waiting game that i could ever possibly imagine. I think I'll start writing my first letter to him now, I'm sure he's doing the same. If i feel this way, imagine how he must feel. I hope he's okay. 

Have a lovely night, 

Stephanie

Hello love

This is me 

I never thought that id be one of "those girls"that would have someone...be with someone in the military. Absolutely no one in my family has ever joined the military, so its basically unknown territory to me. I could never understand how some girls could have the strength and emotional stability (for the record- I have NONE, emotional stability that is) to be able to wait for that special someone to come home. Funny thing is, I'm majoring in psychology you'd think i would be able to have a grasp on m emotions to some extent, well i don't. Go Figure. 

This is him

Isn't he handsome?

For starters he's the sweetest guy out there. Timothy is one of those easy going artistic thin and fit guys that look best with out of control facial hair, and i love it! We started as best friends back in middle school (6th grade to be exact) and who would have thought that in college we would reconnect as much more? Not me. But so glad we did. 

Long story short: He enlisted in the marines before we even started talking again. We reconnected suddenly and started talking and like expected, became inseparable. He (out of impulse and puppy love) decided to not leave on his original day to go to boot camp (December) and even wanted to abandon the idea and end his contract before even going. We later spoke about it and decided it was best for him to go. So on Sunday, March 11, 2012 he finally left to boot camp. It's really tough, not only do i feel like I missing my boyfriend, but my best friend as well. But it's what he wanted to do, so I'll be there every step of the way. June 8th is when he'll be back and even though its 88 days away, I still like to think that it's not that far away.